What a difference a week makes

This is the week that I was supposed to go back to work from my maternity leave. My baby girl is 11 weeks old but because I was in the hospital for a few days before giving birth, I was supposed to return to work on Tuesday. This time last week, I was a complete wreck with way too much anxiety about leaving her. I had spent most of my maternity leave worrying about how this would go. Maybe it's because I knew my job too well and I knew myself. I let the busyness play out in my head over and over. And maybe the anticipation would have been the worst of it. Or maybe not.

And then last week I did it. I called my boss and told her I wasn't coming back. I immediately felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. And then about an hour later panic set in. Real heart palpitations. What did I just do? Could I call her back and tell her I'd made a mistake?

I have flip-flopped most of my leave about what the right thing would be for me and Claudia. I know it's different for every mom but I think this is what I'm supposed to do for now. We'll see how it goes. I'm hoping to eventually work part-time but until then, this is what we'll do.

I plan on trying out a mom's group this week. Maybe we'll enroll in Gymboree classes and when she gets a little older - story time at the library. In the summer, we'll take walks to the park and around the Arboretum. Maybe we'll go swimming at the pool just down the street. We'll visit the local petting zoo and feed the ducks. We'll meet daddy for lunch and go to the children's museum. We'll have fun together every day.